The 3 C’s of Marriage

Hey Chic Baes, 

I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for 13 years (together for 20). I’m super proud of that! It hasn’t always been easy, but that’s to be expected when you meet young, have kids young, and marry young. My husband and I have 3 kids having had our first kid at the tender ages of 16 & 17. 

Yes I know….I was what old people would call “fast!” Nonetheless, we survived and beat the odds stacked against us. We had no real examples of what healthy relationships let alone marriages romantic or otherwise should look like. We were literally making it up as we went along and still are most days. Because we started a family so young I often joke to people that we grew up married! There’s been a lot of great days and an equal share of bad ones. By no means does any of this make me an expert but it does make me experienced. So, with that I’m sharing the 3 things that I think has helped us maintain a loving and happy marriage. 

COMMUNICATION

In a marriage or any relationship communication is a major key. A big part of communicating is having the ability to be able to listen to hear and comprehend instead of listening to respond. Yea read that again! That was a hard one for me. Whenever there was issue, I was ready to pop off with my concerns instead hearing what his concerns were. Another thing about communication is not allowing your spouse/partner to play mind reader. Open you mouth and verbalize what you maybe feeling, good or bad, what you need and what you want. I’m not a big fan of charades. If you don’t say it then obviously everything is ok…..right? Don’t always talk about the bad things either. Make it a point to talk about the good things. It can be as little as what happened at lunch at work. Even though I sleep next to my husband every night I really don’t talk to him as soon as I wake up, but I am sure to call him on my way to work and we have a chat and most of the time its about absolutely nothing!  Besides, communication is a good way to show and tell a person how much you value and care about them. 

COMPROMISE

Whew chile, this one right here is a tough one! Many people think that a marriage is 50/50, me included. Let me be the first to say that I was so very wrong. A marriage is 100/100. You both must be willing to give and take. Think of it like a rubber band. If both of you are pulling in one direction what eventually happens is someone will pop. In a marriage, you are a team and you know the old saying “there is no I in team.” Well that saying rings true in a marriage. Everything won’t be about you, you won’t get your way all the time but know that sacrifices are necessary for the greater good! 

COMMITMENT 

When you’re in a committed relationship you must be IN it. You must be all in mentally and whole heartedly. You must be willing to take the good with the bad, you know that for better or worse part, yea that. Please understand that your marriage should come first. It’s ok to have that confidant to talk things out with when things get tough (or even when they’re good) but make sure you are talking to your spouse first. Relationships can be tough, and they can take a toll on you mentally, emotionally, and physically so its important that you are willing to do the work and realizing that everyday won’t be unicorns and rainbows. However, if you remain committed to that person there is sure to be a pot of gold waiting for you! 

At the end of the day the key to making a marriage great is remembering to communicate your needs and wants, figuring out a way to compromise on how to achieve those things, and staying committed to one another above everything! And don’t forget to keep having fun and remembering why you married that special person in the first place!

XX,

Bambi